


Existentialism on Prom Night

by nagi_schwarz



Series: The Oppenheimer Effect [64]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 10:58:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8621902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: Written for the comment_fic prompt: "Stargate: Atlantis, John Shepard/Rodney McKay, Juggling the kids, work, and time alone."All Rodney wants is some time alone with John. Instead, it's prom night. Wardrobe panics and Tetris Battles ensue.





	

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” Rodney was standing in the lab, squinting into a microscope, with his cell phone tucked against his ear. Cell phone reception under the mountain was abysmal, which was why land lines were still installed in every room on base.  
  
“The corsage and the boutonniere,” Evan said again. “Did you pick them up?”  
  
“I don’t speak French.”  
  
“You’re Canadian.”  
  
“I don’t speak French that well.”  
  
“I’m not speaking French, I’m speaking prom. I need you to go by the florist’s after work and pick up the flowers for prom.”  
  
Rodney, who had no idea what he was looking at, frowned. “Prom?”  
  
“It’s Friday, Rodney. Prom night.”  
  
“Why can’t you go get the flowers?” Rodney straightened up and rolled his shoulders to ease the ache in his neck. He’d been hunched over things in the lab all day.  
  
“Because I have been supervising afternoon detention and also I am trying to finish Tyler’s cummerbund,” Evan said patiently.  
  
“What about Cam?”  
  
“Cam has been supervising make-up exams.”  
  
“JD -”  
  
“Is picking up Tyler’s tux from the cleaners.”  
  
“But John -”  
  
“Is at the mountain with you, Rodney.” Evan’s voice took on an edge.  
  
“Really?” Rodney straightened up, scanned the lab. “Since when?”  
  
“Since after school. It’s not hard, Rodney. Go to the florist, get the flowers, come home. And bring John with you.” Evan hung up before Rodney could protest.  
  
Prom. How the hell had Rodney forgotten? He pocketed his cell phone and hurried out of the lab and to the little office that had been granted to John and Evan when they were on base. They had no official duties, but sometimes they acted as human light switches, and they needed a little place of their own where they could decompress.  
  
John wasn’t there.  
  
Rodney caught one of the SFs who stood guard outside the lab - the kid looked barely older than Tyler - and asked if he’d seen Major Sheppard.  
  
The SF directed Rodney to the mess hall. But John wasn’t there either.  
  
“You okay?” Sam asked, catching Rodney on his way back to the lab.  
  
“Can’t find John. Apparently it’s prom night, and I need to go pick up flowers for Tyler and his date. Evan’s supervising detention and Cam’s handling make-up exams and JD is getting the tux from the cleaners and I _can’t find John_ -”  
  
“Ah, prom. Take a deep breath.” Sam put her hands on Rodney’s shoulders and looked him in the eye.  
  
“You’ve dealt with prom before?”  
  
“Only as Cassie’s godmother, but yes.”  
  
Cassie. Cassandra. Cassandra Fraiser, future MD. She was generally a bright, mature young adult. Functioned well. Apart from letting Oppie escape from the house one time, which had ended up all right, what with Oppie finding John and Casa Atlantica.  
  
“How did you do it? Just you and Janet?” Rodney asked. “I mean, there’s only one of Tyler and there’s five of us, and I feel like I’m never keeping up with what’s going on in his life and now he has a girlfriend and prom is so special -”  
  
“Take another deep breath, Rodney. Everything will be fine.”  
  
“I feel like I never see John anymore, even though we’re in our own house now, and -”  
  
Sam looked alarmed and a little dismayed.  
  
Rodney could feel his eyes stinging, and dammit, no, he wasn’t going to cry, not at work, not in front of one of his respectable colleagues, not over some damn flowers.

An arm slid around his shoulders. “Hey, Rodney, everything will be fine, I promise.” John pressed a kiss to Rodney’s hair, nodded at Sam, and Sam ducked away. “Bill and I are done with our experiments for the day. Let’s go. We can grab the flowers on the way home and everything will be fine.”  
  
John walked Rodney back to his office, waited patiently while Rodney packed up his laptop and briefcase, and together they rode up the elevator to the parking lot.  
  
“I know work has been pretty crazy lately, and with the end of the school year coming up I haven’t been around as much as I’d like,” John said quietly. “But everything will be okay, I promise.”  
  
John drove to the florist, left the car running while he ducked inside, and he emerged moments later carrying two plastic containers, one containing a corsage, the other containing the boutonniere.  
  
Back at the house, Evan was sitting at the kitchen table with bright blue fabric spread out in front of him, a plethora of pins and needles, and several spools of thread.  
  
John came up short. “What are you doing?”  
  
“Sewing machine broke. No JD or Cam to fix it,” Evan said distractedly.  
  
“Where’s Tyler?” Rodney asked. He put the plastic containers in the refrigerator.  
  
As if on cue, Tyler came skidding into the kitchen wearing nothing but boxers, an undershirt, and socks. “My hair looks terrible. How do I fix my hair?”  
  
“I’m not the person to ask,” John said.  
  
Rodney would be the first to admit that his hair was thinning. “Neither am I.”  
  
“Evan?” Tyler asked plaintively.  
  
Evan glanced up. “Your hair is fine. Brenda will like your hair. Your hair looks great. Did you polish your shoes?”  
  
“Well -”  
  
“Polishing shoes is something I know how to do.” John pressed a kiss to Rodney’s mouth, briefly, and then shuffled Tyler out of the room before Evan burst a blood vessel.  
  
Rodney felt helpless until Evan said, “Get over here and hold this.”  
  
Rodney felt mildly less useless while he held a length of fabric folded over so Evan could stitch it up.  
  
The sound of the garage door opening caused both of them to turn. JD dashed into the kitchen, carrying a garment bag. “Where’s Tyler? He needs to try this on. I’m pretty sure he’s grown since the adoption.”  
  
Cam rolled in, just on JD’s heels. He wheeled around to the kitchen table, and Evan looked up long enough to bestow him with a welcome-home kiss.  
  
“How’s it coming?”  
  
“Fix my sewing machine, please,” Evan said.  
  
Cam nodded. “On it.”  
  
Panic ensued when it turned out that Tyler had indeed grown since the adoption. Everyone had thought it was so perfect that he already had a tux. How it had occurred to no one but JD till the day the tux was picked up from the dry-cleaners that Tyler had grown was insane. Evan blamed himself, John blamed himself, and Rodney blamed everyone for not noticing that _their son had grown_.  
  
It took Rodney, Cam, and JD all of their combined mechanical skills to repair Evan’s sewing machine so that he could finish the cummerbund and also make alterations to Tyler’s tux. Tyler was twitchy and anxious the entire time, constantly checking his hair in the mirror. John finished polishing Tyler’s shoes, and at ten minutes to six, when Tyler was supposed to go pick up Brenda, everything was ready.  
  
Tyler looked dashing in his tux. Cam had the honor of pinning the boutonniere to Tyler’s lapel. Evan took about a million pictures (and fired off a million text messages to Brenda’s mother, making her promise to also take a million pictures). JD had the dubious honor of giving Tyler a couple of condoms, which made Tyler blush bright red beneath his tan. Then all five men saw him to the door. He was being allowed to drive Cam’s prize restored Mustang for the evening, having received numerous warnings about what would happen if he brought it home with a single scratch on it.  
  
“Think he’s going to get to use those condoms?” John asked.  
  
Cam shuddered. “I hope not.”  
  
“Nadine says Brenda’s curfew is midnight, and the dance ends at eleven-thirty, so he may not have a chance,” Evan said. “But you know teenagers.”

“Tina and Sasha will be with them,” John offered.  
  
JD snorted. “Like those two will keep them in line.”  
  
Rodney cleared his throat. “At least they won’t need condoms, right?”  
  
“Actually,” Evan began, and Rodney shook his head fiercely.  
  
“No. I don’t want to know.” Rodney turned to John. “So, now that that’s all over -”  
  
Evan clapped John on the shoulder. “Suit up and let’s go.”  
  
John nodded and headed for the kitchen door.  
  
“Go?” Rodney echoed. “Where?”  
  
“Chaperoning the dance, of course,” Evan said. He leaned down and kissed Cam on the cheek. “See you.” And he and JD vanished.  
  
Rodney made a wordless sound of protest. It was Friday night. He’d had plans all week, for him and John to have some time alone. Cam clapped Rodney on the hip.  
  
“C’mon, you and me, Tetris Battle.” Cam rolled toward the den.  
  
Rodney turned to look longingly at the door, but then Evan and JD reappeared, wearing suits. John appeared moments later, and he looked amazing. Rodney loved that suit. One time he’d racked up a hell of a dry-cleaning and repair bill, tearing John out of that suit and bending him over the sofa and -  
  
“Gotta go.” John kissed Rodney briefly, and then he and Evan were out the door.  
  
“Fine,” Rodney said to Cam. “Tetris Battle.”  
  
Hours later, Rodney awoke when John, Evan, JD, and Tyler came home. Cam had beaten Rodney roundly at Tetris, because while Rodney had excellent engineering and spatial skills, Cam had a fighter pilot’s reflexes. Eventually Rodney’s ego couldn’t take it anymore, and they’d ended up watching an awful documentary about how aliens had built the pyramids.  
  
“Finally,” Rodney murmured when John dropped onto the couch next to him, curled up next to him. “I missed you. You look hot. Wanna have sex.” He pawed weakly at John’s belt.  
  
“Get a room,” Tyler said.  
  
John laughed and stood up, hauled Rodney to his feet. “All right. Let’s go to bed.”  
  
Rodney hummed happily. “Mmm. Bed.”  
  
And maybe the day wasn’t a waste after all.


End file.
